You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I’d come running back
Baby you don’t know me, cause you’re dead wrong

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over cause you’re gone

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on, over you

You didn’t think that I’d come back
I’d come back swinging
You try to break me, but you see

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over cause you’re gone

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I’m not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I’m finally thinking about me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end…

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone
What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn’t mean I’m over cause you’re gone

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone

I kept waiting on a reason
And a call that never came
No I never, saw it comin’
Somethin’ in you
Must have changed

All the words unspoken
Promises broken
I cried for so long.
Wasted too much time
Should have seen the signs.
Now I know, just what went wrong

I guess I wanted you more
And looking back now I’m sure
I wanted you more
I guess I wanted you more

All the nights we spent just talkin’
Of the things we wanted out of life (out of life)
Makin’ plans and dreams together
I wish I’d seen I was just too blind

My heart was open
Exposed and hoping
For you to lay it on the line
But in the end it seemed
There was no room for me
Still I tried, to change your mind.

I guess I wanted you more
And looking back now I’m sure
I wanted you more
I guess I wanted you more

Ohhh, I don’t need you
I don’t need you anymore

I guess I wanted you more
And looking back now I’m sure
I wanted you more
I guess I wanted you more

I don’t need you
I don’t need you anymore

Ever wondered what is the real essence of the saying “A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed”? People talk about the true value of friendship without knowing what it stands for. True friendship is when there are no formalities; when the person you are talking about is counted as family; when the relation you share reaches a stage that even if you don’t correspond for sometime, your relationship remains intact. Best friends need not meet up often to make sure that the friendship remains constant. The trust between best friends is such that if one friend falls in trouble, the other will not think twice to help.

If the bond between two friends is strong, true friends can endure even long distances. They find a way of being in touch despite busy schedules. True friendship never fades away; in fact it grows better with time. True friends don’t need a posh place to hang out. Their most precious hideout is each others’ rooms! True friendship thrives on trust, inspiration and comfort. Best friends come to know when the other person is in trouble, merely by listening to their “Hello” over the phone.

True friends don’t desert each other when there is trouble. They face it together and support each other even if it hurts the other individual’s interest. Best friends don’t analyze each other; they don’t have to. They accept each other with their positive and negative qualities. Nothing is hidden between true friends; they know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Best friends don’t stand any outsider commenting or criticizing their friendship and they can put up a very firm resistance if anyone does so.

True friends are not opportunists. They don’t help because they have something to gain out of it. True friendship is selfless. Best friends support even when the whole world opposes you. It is not easy getting true friends and if you have even one true friend, consider yourself blessed. In this world of cynics and back stabbers, there are still some people who are worth being friends with. 

Just been browsing MySpace, fucks knows why cause I hate it an its shit. Anyway, was just browsing through my old blogs, an just depressed myself by one post in-particular, by how depressing it is, but not only that, nothing has actually changed in the 3 years between then and now.

Its weird because the past few days, I’d stop caring about something I should’ve given up on a long time ago, and I’ve felt a weight lifted off my shoulders an felt strangely happy, despite feeling like I have nothing going for me.

Now after reading that, its got me thinking again, and thats not a good thing. 

Oh the joy of paranoia. 

Hello, Paranoia. How’re you today? I don’t believe we’ve spoken today. Enjoy messing with my head.

Fed up, pissed off, past caring.

G’bye.

Want a one way ticket somewhere were no one knows me and start again. Seeing as I cant start over, thats the closest I’m getting. 

Since I’ve used this. I’m bored in work when I’m supposed to be off, so downloaded the app and thought I’d have a rant. Thing is I dunno what to say. :/

Waiting for manager to come in to have some crap staff meeting, and I have to do the minutes which means I actually have to pay attention. Yay.

Really hate this job, but I finish in April. Although I can’t wait, I’m dreadin it incase I don’t have another job lined up. Do not want to go back on the job centre.

Anyway, enough of work. Can’t wait to get home, get comfortable an play on my xbox. Until then I’ll have to rely on caffine to keep me going.

Oh written in the stars
A million miles away
A message to the main
Ooooh
Seasons come and go
But I will never change
And I’m on my way…

I love the chorus of this song, but I hate the rest, but it also makes me feel like an emotion wreck everytime I hear it. I have no idea why. It’s not even the lyrics that are sad, I think its just his voice and the way he sings it, but I love it.

Anyway, finally signed off the dole and I start my new job on Monday. I can’t wait, but I can at the same time. I just can’t wait to finally get a decent wage coming in and not that silly dole crap, having to waste £3 every two/one week just for about 4 minutes of pointlessness and stupid interviews. They’re so useless and half of them don’t even have a clue, or just look down their noses at you. I dont see why, if it wasn’t for the jobless, they’d be in the same boat. Besides, its not always our fault we have no job.

But anyway, have 2 jobs again now. Sort of. Still working at Anfield but isn’t really a job.. or it doesn’t feel like one, and for 6 hours isn’t that big a deal, but still, its an extra 30 quid or so. Not looking forward to the tax though.

I’m just looking forward to seeing my bank balance going up rather than down. Weekly pay as well so thats a bonus. Downfall is its only for 6 months, but it beats being on the dole doing nothing all day, and it’ll be my money that I’ve earned, and not other people’s and getting it for free.

I just can’t wait to get my new bed as well. I love my four poster bed, and I’m going to miss it, but my god its fucked, and don’t even get me started on the matress, but, the one I want… is F.I.T. Apparently you can put it together yourself and not done for you like my mum thought it was. It’s a small double though, so I’ll have to sort out how its gunna fit with all the furnature and stuff.. and hopefully be able to paint my room red. So I can’t wait for that.

So things are kind of looking up, but I still feel weak. I feel like I’ve given up or that I’m about to. I dont know why. One minute I could be perfectly fine, the next I feel like crap. I dont even know how to write about it or how to explain it. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me or if I’m being silly or what. Maybe when I start work properly I’ll feel different, and wont think about it, and if it doesn’t.. well I guess I’ll cross that brudge when I get to it.

B.l.a.h.

Can I erase my past and start over please? Would do things differently now I know what to expect.

Despite the lack of sleep and early start, today’s been really good. Got some fresh air and took my mind off a few things. Finally got my Japanese meal too. So, so far so good.

Got my hamster a new cage and just finished setting it all up. Its so cute, I can’t wait to get another hamster. I think I might wait till this one dies incase they fight though. Don’t know whether to get one and put him in the old cage, or wait till this one dies an get 2.

Now thats sorted, I just need to plan my new ‘lifestyle’ and plan for the future. (Cheese one toast!) But things can only get better I suppose, I just need to figure out what to do and how to change it. I think I might start with uni, or some other course. Don’t actually know where to start other than that, so I guess start with the first thing that comes to mind and maybe the rest will follow.